Last weekend I went to see a family friend in a musical at my old high school. These physical buildings hold so many memories of friendship, insecurity, growth, and development. I was blown away by the talent that a mere high school production could possess, which made me think back to all that I was a part of while I attended school there. As I walked through the hallways that I used to tread through daily, everything seemed so foreign and distant. A foggy memory that was all to familiar and brought back a flood of emotion.
I remember the heart and aching that I put into accomplishing so many things through music – region band competitions, solo and ensemble, chair tests, leadership roles, etc. Yet, four years later, I return and all that is left of me is a small picture of the entire band while I was there, my name on a small plaque in the corner of the band hall, and miraculously a poster that I had made that still hangs on the bulletin board at the front of the room. It’s hilarious to me – for a few reasons. I think it’s hilarious that I even have left a small mark on the physical space of the band hall. Yet, it’s also ironic to me because of how much time, energy, and heartbreak I committed to advancing myself in such a small realm.
I can’t help but think back on all of the ways my mind and body changed over the four years I spent in those buildings. But, even more so, as I get ready to finish out my last semester of college, it is incredible to see the ways that my heart, mind and soul have transformed in these past four years. Time has a crazy way of changing the world – society, culture, individuals, the Church, etc. I am remembering back on so many moments in the past four years where the Lord has remained the same, yet my circumstances, perspective, and heart have been in so many different places. I am questioning the ways that I have left a trail here at UT and it’s hard to see a way I have left marks on this physical space. However, I pray that the sharing, giving, and loving that I have sought after will leave a mark and a trail that serves purposes that go far beyond myself.